"This is a very serious matter!"
— Rainbow Unicorn
If the cosmos can ever be said to harbour a sense of humour, the pairing of the title of Rainbow Unicorn to a man whose physical proportions resembled a slab of beef corded with knotted muscle was almost certainly the result of some great galactic joke. The individual himself would likely not agree, and were one to suggest such an idea to him, he would find very time-consuming ways of making one's life as excruciatingly painful as possible.
A member of the Stewards serving the British Empire, Rainbow was put through gruelling physical challenges to rise to the position of Unicorn Wrangler, and headed his chapter in the run-up to the festive season. Summoned by the head of his Order, the terrifying Fluffi-Wuffkin, Rainbow received a very particular mission to see him through the Christmas period; namely, preventing Princess Victoria from uncovering a conspiracy to bring down the British government.
Position: Unicorn Wrangler
Curse of the Infernal Euphonia