Honest Tommy
  • Home
  • About
  • Episodes
    • Series 1 >
      • Killer Robots of Vorgak 3
    • Radio Adventures >
      • Cast & Crew
  • Production
    • Media >
      • Documents
      • Galleries
    • Arts & Spacecraft
    • In the Making
  • Fiction
    • Calls to Adventure
    • Curse of the Infernal Euphonia
    • Flashtales
  • Infomarium
    • Articles
    • Lore of Yore
    • Characters
    • Gizmos
    • Groups
    • Monsters
    • Peoples
    • Places
    • Spacecraft
  • News
  • Contact

Lore of Yore

Histories of the known universe... and beyond

Christmas Among the Stars

24/12/2016

0 Comments

 
An excerpt from The Cracking Christmas Crisis, one of the many Penny Amazings released seemingly on a weekly basis by the Plinkington Publishing Group of Cheapside, London, accredited to Captain Dashworth but likely ghost-written by his loyal scribe Quilton. What follows is an example of the manner of festivities carried out by some in the British Empire, although it is clear that Mssrs Dashworth and Quilton have taken some liberties with the details.


Needless to say the crafty Captain Dashworth escaped from the quasar's crushing energies with barely a speck of accretion on his doublet, and began preparing for a fine jaunt to the glamorous Glim Blazar. The snow-capped world was hosting many seasonal festivities, and the space-adventurer was always one for observing a noble British tradition.
 
          However, who should come scurrying along the accessway but Dashworth's faithful manservant Benson, fresh from a bout of goodening to secure provisions in the Sentum Cynosure. The stalwart ensign had come away with barely a mince pie and a pair of brightly-coloured odd socks, but this haul pleased the little fellow no end. He also appeared to be dragging something large, green, and leafy along the grating of the deck.
 
          "I hope you're going to get the dedustifier on those pine needles," Dashworth pointed out, observing the green trail Benson was leaving behind him as if a giganticated gombaslug had slithered its way aboard.
 
          "Quick as a flash, Captain," Benson chirped, "but I thought I might put up my tree first, sir." The hopeful note appended to his voice was so tremulous it would have snapped the strings off a cello. "I've got a bag full of baubles."
 
          "Benson, I've warned you about reading newspapers," Dashworth reminded the young lad, who had indeed spotted an advertisement for a festive tree, given the royal seal of approval thanks to the Queen's consort, who had apparently migrated the tradition over from the Nebula of Saxony. While Dashworth was, naturally, a staunch royalist, he didn't altogether trust folklore from foreign territories—on one occasion he spent an afternoon explaining to the druids of the Quilted Raven why they shouldn't hang witch's heads and other shamanic totems over their fireplaces. In both cases, Dashworth would soon be proved rightly justified.
 
          As it transpired, the tree was actually a mutant Yiggdrashl of a Thousand Needles, or Spruce That Sheds in the Night, and it took all afternoon to prise its goopy tendrils from the ship's instruments. In the end, however, the valiant Dashworth reigned supreme after poking it in half of its forty eyes with Benson's carpet sweeper, which the dutiful ensign summarily used to clean up his mess.

The novella goes on to chronicle an incident with a mechanical spider at the royal parade on Glimbork Three, which certain Archivists at the Royal Infomarium suspect is a modified retelling of a sighting of the terrorist known as the Mage of Spiders by Princess Victoria some time before, with the transclusion of Dashworth in the princess's place. The entire account has been sprinkled with festive references, in a transparently cunning method for Dashworth and his writer to capitalise on the holiday season. It is this author's opinion that the simple light dusting of a story with a thin veneer of seasonal spirit is an entirely hollow and materialistic act benefiting the market over the consumer.
 
          That said, season's greetings to everyone at the Infomarium, and to all of you at home as well.
0 Comments

    Lore of Yore

    Histories of the known universe... and beyond

    Archives

    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016

    Categories

    All
    Annabell Tinker
    British Space Empire
    Broadchest
    Christmas
    Dashworth
    Diamond Mines
    Disease
    Games
    Gnossin
    Groups
    Ironjaw
    Killer Robots
    London
    Lore Of Yore
    Mandurai Robotonists
    Mars
    Mecha-Priest
    Medicine
    Moon
    Mother Brown
    New Brighton
    Penny Amazings
    Piracy
    Places
    Princess Victoria
    Robo-Killer
    Royal Space Navy
    Saturn
    Spacecraft
    Tea
    Terrafarming
    The Cosmos
    Vorgak 3
    Vorgak Command

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
  • Episodes
    • Series 1 >
      • Killer Robots of Vorgak 3
    • Radio Adventures >
      • Cast & Crew
  • Production
    • Media >
      • Documents
      • Galleries
    • Arts & Spacecraft
    • In the Making
  • Fiction
    • Calls to Adventure
    • Curse of the Infernal Euphonia
    • Flashtales
  • Infomarium
    • Articles
    • Lore of Yore
    • Characters
    • Gizmos
    • Groups
    • Monsters
    • Peoples
    • Places
    • Spacecraft
  • News
  • Contact